Take a break

By 10:49:00 PM

Picture taken from here

It's not because I have to do my work at home. It's because sometimes I'm procrastinating, in some other time I really have tons things to do within a short period, and sometimes it's something between those two. 

I easily get mad, tired, eventualy starting to feel the anxiety within myself. Panic attack caused me tired all day long, tense and affect my health condition; gastric, breathing difficulties, headache and sleepless. 

But starting last year, once I finished my tenure as a Dean, I starting to calm myself down when I face the panic or anxiety situation. I leave my desk. Sometimes with the laptop on with many windows actively opened. I lay down on my bed. Or even just sleep for an hour or two. Or go outside and buy some snacks. Or cooking. I do whatever I want except doing my work. 

Lately, when the Covid-19 made me fully stay at home. Share the same space for both professional and social life. And new things are coming at the same time. Sometime I feel like I have no other life than work, eat and sleep. Then repeat. 

When my brain is processing things, but my body is crying and my emotion is jumping from level 12 towards 0, I decided to take a break. Make a stop. 

I once neglected my phone all day long. I only sleep, eat, slep, eat and keep on the same thing for 24 hours. I forget about my professional life. I enjoy my own life. Myself. 

Re-engaging with my feeling, with my thoughts. Collecting my self esteem and hopes. Finding the strength within.

All in all, take a break is not a sin. You deserve it. I deserve it. 

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